Regional Airlines and the Classless Society

When you live in the sticks, you get served by regional airlines. The favorite jet of the regional airline seems to be the Canadair CL-600. They’re sleek, they’re fast and they only carry 50 people, so I assume they are fuel efficient too. Thanks for keeping my flights to under $2000 most of the time, Air Canada.

There’s some real good news here. First Class? Forget about it! There’s no First Class in the Regional jet. I get to rub shoulders with Captains of Industry, former football greats and former Federal politicians. But do I really have to physically rub shoulders with these people? Elbows, legs, knees and tummies too? I sat beside a guy on the way to Calgary who was at most 175 pounds and we couldn’t stay ‘disconnected’ for more than 30 seconds. The guy behind me (at most 220 pounds) apologized to the guy beside him (at most 6 feet tall) that they were in for a rough flight because neither of them actually fit in their seat.

I can live with the fact that no carry-on bags can actually fit in the cabin on these planes but couldn’t they make the planes even 24 inches wider for our collective buttocks? We can’t all be 4′ 10″ and 100 pounds.

I’m 5′ 8″ tall with shoes on. We can all lose a few pounds, but my belt covers the widest part of my middle, if you know what I mean. But when I fly, I’m a Pro-Bowl linebacker. Who knew?